Today was my last day at the garden and it wasn’t until half way through my shift that it really sunk in. While this place hasn’t been what I wanted and just wasn’t worth what I was getting paid it’s hard letting go. I started crying and luckily I was by myself tonight but it still a little upsetting. I’m not sure what it is that is making me so sad but I am. Because of this I’m not nervous or scared about starting the new job tomorrow. I guess it just doesn’t seem real and I spent almost a year at the garden. I guess it’s good to know the place touched me enough to make it hard on me. I think it’s knowing I don’t have the guys to joke with and work with anymore. Doesn’t seem real. I k ow it’s for the best and I need to do what it right for my family. Oh this sucks.
Originally posted on Emerging Civil War:
Yesterday, the Civil War Trust announced a $5.5 million fund-raising initiative to save Lee’s Headquarters at Gettysburg. The Trust has called it “one of America’s most significant unprotected sites.”
Here’s a look at the 4.1-acre property the Trust has targeted, courtesy of the Trust and one of their fabulous battle maps.
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When I feel like things are not moving in the direction i need them to go I get bored and start looking for ideas. Mostly old ideas of what I originally wanted or things I had planned to do but never did.
Probably the first time since I graduated from college I’m looking at history related jobs (not a single one in AZ) and how my dream was to work at a history museum or historical site and be in charge of education or interpretation. I started looking at all these jobs I could do but as usual I lack a few things. First a masters degree. Second a decent writing and research background. I feel like I was so under prepare for my history capstone classes and hat I squeaked by them that I never really got how to be an actual historian. I could easily write a historical paper but not one that explores a new idea or evidence. I still never learned how to use archives or read old letters and diaries. So because of this my work is subpar.
Not sure where I’m going from here but right now r
I’ve been diving I to books and blogs I long put aside when I thought history was dead to me.
So I did not get the internship at the police department. It all has to do with the personnel unit and my background interview and polygraph test. I am not sure what I said or didn’t say that they used to not let me go through because legally they cannot tell you the reason why you are not allowed to go through. This means I have 6 credits I have to drop and not sure there is anyway to find two classes to fill those spots.
This bummed me out, but also I am afraid that trying to get a job in law enforcement might be hard for me. I thought I was 100% honest and told them all they needed to know, but maybe they have high standards or maybe there is something I think was no big deal, but that they thought was a lack of good character. So I have been trying to get through my classes, doing a workout challenge for roller derby (well I hope to one day join a league) and think of plan b… well maybe if a count all the changes I’ve gone through with school plan… m maybe?
One of the plans that might be my best bet is do substitute teaching after I get my BA and until I can get my last history class finished. Yes, even though I have switch majors I still want to finish my history degree. I have only one class left to earn it, but drop it due to issues with the department. I will keep an eye for the topics and possibly apply one last time to get the degree. I am also thinking that if substitute teaching goes well, maybe I’ll go for my master’s in teaching. I have more than enough history credits at this point to specialize in it.
This going back to history and teaching came about the other night. I was flipping through channels and on PBS they had their American Experience on Jesse James. While I know that writing articles and books on historical topics was never my thing I do think that teaching about history is more to my level.
The only thing getting me going is Viva Las Vegas in April. I tried skating and did so poorly at it. I’m like Bambi trying to walk on ice. I want to do derby, but I haven’t skated in years and I was never any good. I keep doing the workout challenge so I can loose weight. I’m at 181 when I weighed myself the other day. That’s the heaviest I’ve ever been. I want to get back down to 145, which is what I should be. I checked the BMI and I am overweight several more pounds and I’d be obese. So I have to make changes, but it would be nice to be able to wear a swimsuit in vegas and feel comfortable and confident to do it.
Mike and I got tickets to Viva Las Vegas and I requested the weekend off from work, but there is a slim chance I might have to work. I told Mike if I had to I would just drive back and forth because I cannot miss work. Mike didn’t like that. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to worry about about it, but at the same time I don’t want to be caught off guard by being scheduled to work.
So I am praying since that weekend is Easter Weekend, that no camps will be scheduled. Or if they are she has enough people to work it. I talked to at the meeting today since she mentioned certain months and time off requests. I told her about my trip, well just a bit I sometimes am not comfortable talking to her, but I told her I had a trip planned to vegas that we bought tickets for. I don’t know if I even told her what the tickets were for. I told her I understood about the possibility getting scheduled, but if doable if she can keep in mind that I payed for just about everything. I don’t even think I told her it was all non refundable, but you would hope she would know that.
Mike also told me to use some of my money (he was more giving me permission and promised not to get mad) to buy some clothing for the event. I have one dress that will work and that’s it. I don’t have anything else. I think I found a few dresses that I like. I also need shoes. Plus a shirt and a purse won’t hurt as well. I don’t have the chance to wear these items often, but when I do I know I would.
I am excited!! Mike and I have been wanting to go to this for a few years now and this year we will be. I bought the tickets and Mike will get the hotel. It will be a nice trip for us, since we haven’t gotten to have a nice time together since Vegas last August.
I may not look it, but I love the rockabilly lifestyle and think pin-ups are amazing!! Most of those girls don’t always fit the beauty standards we see today.
After much thought and feeling I finally bought roller derby gear. I bought a rookie package which included skates, a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, outdoor wheels, a ultitool, and bearing cream. I hope to teach myself to skate again. I never learned how to skate as a kid, no sidewalks to learn on. I remember the last time I went skating, which was ice skating and not roller skating and my knees where giving me trouble. I had knee issues as teen and I’m not sure why. Hopefully I can practice enough so I can try out for a league. We got to banked track bouts, but I don’t think I am going to be nearly ready to try-out or play with them, even though I would love to.
I have a roller derby blog, that I am not very good at updating but I try, http://eleanorsplicer.blogspot.com