Thoughts on Teaching

I’ve been going back and forth on becoming a teacher for over a year now. It’s not my idea profession when I decided to study history. From what I remember most of my classmates hated the subject and in high school most of my history classes where taught by coaches who seemed to have no passion for history.

Also, I’ve spent 8 years teaching kids at the zoo but I have 3-8 other instructors to work with and help out. In the classroom it would be me alone with 35 middle school or high school kids ( I’m still leaning on teaching secondary education). I’m not 100% sure I’m capable to do that.

I am going to get my substitute teaching cert this summer so in the fall if I don’t get any of the jobs I’ve applied to I can hopefully do something other than waiting for schools to book for an overnight. It will be slow until the spring anyhow. This way I know if I want to teach and if I can do it. Better than taking two years of classes and teaching and then want to quit.

Wanting to Travel

It’s been about 7 years since I’ve been to Europe and that really is getting to me. I loved my trips to Europe and there are places that I felt like I was rushed through or wasn’t given a good chance to enjoy when I went back in high school in 2001. I wish I could just go over there with Mike and re see sights and see new places that I haven’t had the chance to. The only issue it’s so expensive in Europe right now. Airfare is expensive and then the dollar to the Europe and Pound is not so good. I love the atmosphere of Europe and want to go back, but that’s probably not going to happen.

Since I’m turning 30 this year I would love to go to Europe for that, but I’m not sure we could save the money for the trip in time for that. I also don’t know where to go. Part of me wants to go to Germany since that’s one place I haven’t been to that I really want to go, but I also want to go to England and Ireland again. There is also even more places I am sure I would enjoy or would be nice to see again that I had to quickly see or was avoided the last time I went 12 years ago.

Trying to work it out

I am almost done with my history degree which at this point is just me finishing what I started so many years ago. I have no desire to work in the history field. There really isn’t much I could or want to do.

I happen to see on Facebook via the Oregon Coast Aquarium that they were at some science day at a marine center that is at Oregon State University. I remembered that a friend of mine at one point was taking online classes there that had something to do with marine biology. So I searched their online degrees and I found one that would be good for both mike and I. It’s wildlife and fisheries. I have so many years of zoo work and mike is interested in working with BLM or something like that. It means lots of science but I’m okay with that. It might help us land decent jobs we’d enjoy.

Post Vegas blues

Since heading home from Vegas for our annual Viva Las Vegas rockabilly convention I’ve been feeling down. Mostly because I see girls and guys their who either are in the genre and make a living off of it while I’m still trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. I’ll be graduating in may with a degree that has no job opportunities. I’ve spent almost 8 years in a job with no hope for growth, career or hell more hours and benefits. I have little to show what I have done these 10 years or adulthood I’ve gone through.

Different ideas have gone through my head mostly professions I’ve thought about but require more schools and loans to get through. None really speak to me and its hard to figure out what the hell I’m going to be doing or want to do. I feel like all my friends have heir careers and life I order and I’m still floating waiting for my turn.

Which oddly all this has turned into looking at professional mermaids. Yes it’s a thing. I saw an article about one on yahoo and just kept looking at more and more sites and videos on what they do and how to make a swimable mermaid tail, which looks pretty easy. I’ve also seen retreats and conventions for mermaids or aspiring mermaids. I would need to deal with my contacts but I spent all of my childhood and teens in pools and I’m even scuba certified. So it makes sense. I’m sure people I know would laugh at me for such a thought but it could be fun!

Hoping this works

My boss at the tour company was understanding about me needing to quit. I told him my last day would be the 28th and he was okay with it. He has kids himself and understood why I was leaving. I didn’t go into the never knowing if I was going to work and all the things that was bothering me.

I will be working more at the zoo now which is want I want. I’ve been looking online at zoo jobs and my lack of a bio degree is holding things back for me. I found some jobs out of state that would be fun or perfect but as usual no bio degree no job. It stinks and might mean more school for me but I cannot afford it. Unless I do it one class at a time at the community college and then look into a bachelors.

I still enjoy working with kids but I’d love to work with marine animals like I always have wanted

Quitting

I’ve decided that tomorrow I’m giving my new job the boot. I’m going to let my boss know this job just isn’t for me and I need to move on aka stay at the zoo and help my coworkers and boss with our busy season. I have still felt even after my first solo tour that its just not for me. I like working at the zoo and working in a close knit teams rather than driving a van and possibly getting people who could care less about what I can tell them.

I emailed my zoo boss that I was going to quit the other job when she sent me an email on a bunch of dates that she needed me even though I was suppose to be working at the other job. I let me know that I would get back to her but I’m thinking the 28th would be my last day at the tour company and from now until the end of summer I will be busy with camps and summer camps. Which I miss doing so much. I actually will get to work a night camp here I a few weeks and I’m excited for that and I can train as a lead finally!!!!!

I don’t think I’ll regret this choice either.

Hoping for good

They finally have a job posting for a full time position in my department at the zoo. It’s outreach specialist which means I’m taking animals to different places all over the state. I applied and hope I get it. I think education and doing things like what I’m doing at the zoo is the perfect fit for me.

I did finally get a tour by myself and it went well but I’m still not enjoying it. I feel like I’m floating along waiting for something to happen or help me. It’s not what I thought it was going to be.

Regrets and Guilt

Would you be surprise to here that I am having a little regret and stress over the new job. It’s days like the last few where I am not at the new job and I’m at my zoo job like I was yesterday and today I feel like while the new job has things I want, I miss and enjoy things about the zoo. It really started yesterday and has snowballed today and probably worse tomorrow.

Yesterday was our monthly staff meeting and since I am FINALLY a lead instructor I have lead meetings and as we are talking about things to try the next few weeks and training I was overcome with guilt. I realized that I finally have a boss and people who see things in me that I needed someone to notice. They want me there and really need me to help with the new instructors and changes that are going on. I’ve been so busy with the new job that I forgot how I finally at a point at my zoo career that I wanted several years ago. I have spent so many years teaching kids about the zoo and animals and while that is not what I have been focusing on in school it’s a big part of what I do.

Today I even felt worse. I was talking to a parent and got into talking about the summer camp we have and that I was one of the instructors. I felt so bad after realizing that after I took this new job I wouldn’t be able to do it and what if they remembered me and I wasn’t there. I have built a lot of trust and stuff with a lot of these kids where years down the road the remember me. Makes me feel like this new job is just not at the right time.

 

I feel like there are so many uncertainty with hours, if I will even be working the hours I’m suppose to, how the future looks for us as a new company and really the hours are playing a toll on my family. A few times I’ve been gone so much the my son doesn’t want to go to bed until I get home and I just want to go to bed. The hours at the zoo rarely do this.

 

I even feel like I could work at the zoo and pursue a teaching cert or masters in education and teach. I’ve spend almost half of my life teaching kids so why stop now? I just hate this feeling. It’s been eating at me all yesterday and today. How much do benefits and more money weigh when you feel like you’re gone too much.

I’m Loving This Job

I haven’t even began giving tours and so far I am loving this company.  While the information can seem overwhelming I am so excited to be apart of this company and start the new location. I know the information and getting comfortable with driving and giving new talks will come over time, but I am so in love with this all.

Today we got to drive up to Sedona in the vans our guests will be sitting in. They are very comfortable and I had no issues with the seats or the drive. It’s a Mercedes Sprinter Van and much nicer than my 2003 Toyota Echo. I have plenty of leg room and the ride is nice and smooth. I don’t think I’ve ever been to Sedona before today. I might when I was really young, but I don’t remember. It’s beautiful, but we haven’t done any touring yet, that will come. Today was new hire orientation and learning the ins and out of our vans. Still not able to drive them yet, but that will come. We then got to have lunch at the company’s cafe and see the retail shop. I left my bag in the car otherwise I would have bought a few things, but there’s always another time.

We got back to the valley at 6:30pm so I had a 12 hour day, 4 of those in the van and it just flew by. I didn’t even realized how quickly it had gone and the first half was paperwork and presentations. Tomorrow we’ll be up at the Grand Canyon and won’t get back into the valley until 8 pm. So a long day, but right away we see how our days will be. I’m still looking forward to it all. I need to write down the information somewhere that will be a big help to me and giving an amazing tour to the guests. I already think I need to add a lot of westerns to my netflix queue.

New Job Tomorrow

Tomorrow I start my new job as a tour guide. Mostly it’s taking a tour of our new office, the paperwork you have to fill out, meeting each other and stuff dealing with driving a commercial vehicle. Sounds a bit boring but I’m excited because I am really hoping this job pans out and we are able to move out of my parents place and also a new vehicle.

I’m going to still be at the zoo but I’d like to be able to quit and just have one full time job. Joseph is still young and I don’t want to be working so much I miss stuff.